News Flash: Blog Updates Come to a Screeching Halt

Well, not all blog updates, just the ones on this blog. (Not that I ever put anything substantive up, anyway.)

I am a gun nut. Love them. Always have. I also like movies. No surprise, I like movies with guns in them - lots of guns. I have always prided myself on being able to spot various firearms in movies and identify them. Keep in mind, I like movies like "Heat" and "Miami Vice". This type of flick typically has a lot of weapons to be able to spot, and in my case, identify. (I've probably ruined a lot of movies for people around me by pointing out, "That's a Steyr AUG. It has a cyclic rate between 680 and 850 RPM.")

I have found my Holy Grail of websites, at least for now. Behold, I give you http://www.imfdb.org/index.php?title=Main_Page I notice what type of gun the bank robber used. These guys tell you the one that was in the holster of the guard the robber knocked unconscious on his way in; the one that all you can see is the butt of its grip.

All I can say is this is definitely going to slow down my updates. Not that it matters, because all I ever post is mindless drivel. Now, instead of coming here, maybe you can learn about a gun you really like. I recommend the TIKI, by SVI. (Last I read on it, which was way before it became a celebrity in the movie, the quote ran about $6K, depending on options.)

Those Who Can....

Apparently those who can't grab some poster board and a black marker. That's right, I'm officially "Coach -B" now.

I received a call last week asking me to coach -XV's U-8 soccer team. I've had at least one child playing soccer for the past 6 years. All of those years, with the exception of one, I always thought I could do as good or better of a coaching job. So, I told the registrar I'd love to give it a shot.

We had our first practice last week. The materials the association gave me to prep were pretty helpful and easy to use. I've got a coach's handbook full of a lot of basic information, and a deck of cards with exercises, games, and drills for the team.

I went from just a bit nervous the night before the first practice to pumped and ready the day of. The moment of truth finally arrived, and people started to trickle in. The Earthquake's Fall 2008 season had begun.

A crazy thing kept happening throughout much of practice. For some reason, I kept picturing the AYM.

Let me explain a little. My team has 9 boys on it - 4 are great, 3 are pretty good, and 2 are nightmares. So, I've got all these activities and drills planned. (We actually did a couple of them.) I've got this sideline of parents watching. I've got a couple of other teams on the fields around me. The whole time, I keep thinking "I hope this doesn't look like crap to anybody (parents, other coaches, etc.) watching" Of course, I'm too involved in the actual production of the practice to worry about it going off without a hitch. I don't have much of a chance to supervise, as I'm more or less a player. This just kept making me think of the AYM's posts about doing his worship services, band performances, and whatnot.

The other reminder was I kept wanting to speak my mind about the most problematic child. He cries if we don't play with his ball. Then he cries when someone else kicks his ball. Next, he's grabbing his ball and running around the field hugging it. (And let me say, he is by no means the goalkeeper. Even if he was, he was outside of the box while doing this.) He wants something to drink. He needs to go to the bathroom. (At this point, I'm praying he has to drop a deuce.) I wanted to lay into this kid. Not physically, but just have a real heart-to-heart with him. His dad even coached last year. I keep thinking about the phrase "edit myself", and I do. Where have I heard that before?

So while I'm editing myself, and running around like a maniac, it sort of comes to me. These kids are 6 and 7 year-olds. I had a 7 year-old. I still have a 7 year-old. I was a 7 year old. With that in mind, I stop worrying about the little things and distractions. I stop worrying about how this looks to anyone watching. We finish practice. It goes pretty well. I've got my forwards figured out. I think I have a keeper in mind. I just have no clue how I'm going to teach this crying kid the difference between a forward and a defender next week. Maybe it'll rain.

Caption This!

A few of the sites I visit have these little contests from time to time. I came across this beauty today (in my home county, no less.) I have a couple of captions myself, but nothing too clever. Thought I'd give my 3 faithful readers a chance to show a.) themselves, and b.) their wit. I'll pick a winner (i.e. the AYM, because he'll be the only one to respond) but sorry, I don't have a Minutiae t-shirt to give away yet.

Cheesy Movies

So, I get a brief nap yesterday after work. Although I enjoyed a good nap back in my MSU days, they became few and far between after fatherhood. Nowadays, if I get a chance to cop a z or two, it happens just after work, before supper and while the kids finish up their homework.

The nap was extremely brief, maybe 10 minutes. I didn't think it would in any way jeopardize me getting somewhat of a good night's sleep. Wrong. It was rapidly approaching 3 a.m., as I was flipping through the channels. There are numerous movies in my repertoire that I can find on and have to finish, regardless of where I came in. Some of them are decent, and some are terrible. This one was a terrible one. What is this disastrous abomination to which I'm referring, you may ask? Here. Take a gander for yourself, if you can handle it.




That's right, Mortal Kombat. Bad movie. The soundtrack's alright, the effects are pretty lackluster, and the acting is atrocious. I didn't even play the video game. (The AYM advanced to this one, but I stayed back with the Street Fighter series. I just always preferred the rolling of a D pad, as opposed to the tap-tapping of one.) I liked to watch the game, as the graphics were top-notch. Still, I don't think just watching a video game in my adolescence could lead me to sitting through this bad of a movie. I also don't think the brief shots of Bridget Wilson in chains, although enjoyable, could keep me this captivated. (Pun intended, of course.)

Enter a tall, lanky friend of mine. He's known for a lot of things, from being a popular twin to having a pretty decent golf swing. One thing he's not overly known for is shedding some insight on something someone might not have noticed otherwise. I said he's not known for this. I didn't say it never happens.

The lanky friend's observation had to do with music. He once said, a long time ago, that if you see the performance of a song live, (whether in person or during a live event that's televised,) you will usually begin to like that song. I hadn't thought about it before this, but it seemed to make sense. Then, the more live songs (that I might not otherwise enjoy) that I caught, the more I began to like them. Watch some yourself, and see if you think his theory holds water.

Well, I take a similar stand with the aforementioned bad movie. Before I ever watched it, I saw a "Making of" behind-the-scenes special on it. Even though the special effects are anything but special, I got to see how they were done. The acting, again, is beyond bad. But I got to see some outtakes and between takes stuff. I think that sort of gave me a bond with this film. One that if I hadn't had, I probably wouldn't have watched the movie the first time (let alone the umpteenth time, at 3 a.m., no less.)

Thin Beast!

I know that sounds like some kind of new special from Pizza Hut, but it's actually the nickname of 1/2 of USA's men's beach volleyball duo. Just try to slip a ball past the wall that is a block from Phil Dalhausser. It's not going to happen. Well, at least not in the third set of an Olympic gold medal match, it's not.

-PB in About 20 Years

Well, the 6th grader has started band. There was a time when I had hoped maybe he'd "do it in 7 positions", like his dad did back in the day. However, he decided he wanted to give percussion a shot. That's fine with me, as I've really grown to appreciate some remarkable drummers over the past several years. (See video above.)

So we show up for the little audition thingy. It was very similar to what I did in 6th grade. You give them your first and second choices, and they let you try them and see what's best suited for you. There was a group of 5 students there during our time slot, and -PB went last in the group.

Of the 4 that went ahead of him, 3 wanted to play percussion. The tryout went something as follows: Sit down in a chair in the middle of the room, in front of the high school director. He instructs you to stomp, you stomp. He instructs you to clap, you clap. Stomp, clap. Stomp, clap, stomp, clap. Stomp, clap, stomp, clap, clap. And so on. The big finale was clapping the ole "Shave and a Haircut." (At this point, for some reason, I'm flashing back to "Who Framed Roger Rabbit.")

Of the 3 wannabe percussionists that went before -PB, 3 were denied. They did, however, sprout into 1 budding trumpeter and 2 future saxophonists. As they were trying to repeat the rhythms they were given, I asked -PB if he saw what they were doing right and wrong. I asked him if he saw what the director was looking for. I noticed he was sort of tapping the rhythms on his chair, and was doing pretty well. Finally, The moment of truth arrives. It's his turn.

He sits in the chair, and the director asks who he's got here. After -PB tells him his first name, the director looks at the chalkboard, which has the students' first and last names on it. He reads the last name, slowly. "So...and...so..." Then he says it again. "So-and-so." He asks, "You wouldn't happen to be one of those So-and-so's, would you? From the So-and-so family that Mr. Tucker says was the most musically talented family to ever pass through the Mayfield School System?" He's looking over at me, now. "You know he says that about you guys, don't you?" I told him I had no idea. He replies, "Well, he does."

I'm somewhat stunned at this point. Not to dwell on the whole "most musically talented" part, because I don't really agree. He could have felt that way for a number of reasons, including some great musicians didn't have siblings or siblings that played, some musicians took choir instead of band, this director had never taught the Cantrell family, or he modestly chose not to include his own children. Nonetheless, he apparently said it, and I was quite proud that the bloodline received a little respect.

So, -PB starts his stomping and clapping. Being totally unbiased, I must say he does pretty darn well. When he finally gets to the "Shave and a Haircut", I notice he rushes the "a Hair" just a tad. He repeats it, and again he rushes it ever so slightly. At this point, the director shoots me a little glance, and we both smile a little. He turns to the middle school director and says, "Well, that was easy. Percussion." And so, the dynasty continues.

My Ritual

I don't play golf, so I don't flip a golf club before every shot I make. I don't play baseball or softball anymore, so I don't avoid stepping on baselines or anything. I have some socks I really like, but I don't have to wear any certain pair at any certain time. I do, however, have one pretty specific ritual that I seem to practice.

A couple of nights ago, the temperature dropped down into the 50's. That's not exactly normal in my neck of the woods for mid-August. (Good call on that whole global warming thing, Mr. Gore.) So, I decided to make my first batch of chili this year. You won't find me grinding cumin or dicing onions when I make chili. I guess a better term for my preparation is that I assemble chili. Although it's always somewhat consistent, I assemble it a few different ways, depending on my mood. Since there is a little variety in what I put in a batch, that is not really where my ritual comes into play.

My chili ritual occurs in how I prepare my bowl. I hadn't paid too much attention to this before. Fixing a bowl of chili is pretty simple, right? Well, after seeing 4 people build their bowls 4 different ways, I realized something rather curious. How people fix a bowl of chili is probably about as unique as the people themselves. That is, as long as they are provided with something more than a bowl, a spoon, and some chili.

What someone puts in the bowl can be quite diverse. Some variables in ingredients include crackers or corn chips, saltines or oyster crackers, cheese or no cheese, shredded cheese or sliced cheese, onions and/or peppers, sour cream and/or salsa. I could probably go on, but I'll stop there. Then there's whether they go for more meat, more beans, the soupier part, a thicker mix, etc. Finally, how and in what order they actually put the weapons of choice in their bowl can differ greatly. (i.e. Leave crackers or chips whole or crumble them, cheese on bottom or top, so on and so on.) You see, not as simple as it seems, is it?

Right or wrong, my ritual is as follows: 1.) Ladle my chili into the bowl. Amount varies, according to how hungry I am. 2.) Place cheese on top of chili. I prefer shredded, but can do sliced if that's all there is. 3.) Sprinkle whole corn chips along top of cheese. Again, I can substitute oyster crackers for corn chips. If saltines are what's available, they get crumbled along the top. 4.) Finally, if available, I pour a little salsa or picante on top of everything. I also enjoy a few pepperoncinis or jalapenos on the side.

As usual, I put way too much thought into my whole process. Some of my rationale for placement includes: putting the cheese on top will cause it to melt better as the heat rises, it's not on the bottom so it doesn't stick to the bowl, and it provides a barrier to keep the chips from getting too soggy. Some people may want their chips or crackers soggy or may not want the cheese to melt. The possibilities are almost endless.

When I was younger, I would go for as much meat as possible while avoiding beans. Now, being mature and all, I try to get as accurate a sampling as possible of what the overall batch of chili is actually like. I look at things like thickness and meat-to-bean ratio. Then, I layer it up and dig in. So, that's how I do it. How about you?